Why and how does it work? Fear (or rather fear) today mostly stems not from a real threat to which we would be exposed, but from beliefs that we unconsciously believe. We got a lot of them in childhood from our parents and surroundings. Most of the time, in adulthood, they do not protect us from danger, but rather hold us back and prevent us from being fully ourselves.
An example of a very common fear is the fear of scarcity (money, time,...). In the background may be the belief that it is hard to make money, that the world is a place of rivalry in which I will not succeed, that I must not fail in the role of breadwinner, that there is more being rolled on me than I can handle. The control is not me, but the circumstances or the people around.
New beliefs, with which you can replace the original — the world is full of abundance and opportunity, I believe in my abilities and that there is always a way to provide what I, my family, my team,...
As other frequent examples, we can cite the fear of evaluating the surroundings, the belief that I have to manage everything on my own or concerns about health.
Exercises in a group
The first step is to realize: Which fears are holding me back or directly preventing me from taking an important action? What negative thoughts take away my energy? What am I afraid of if I have to be fully myself? Write everything down on the slips.
The second step — which beliefs are behind these fears? What do I believe makes me feel this way? Write everything down again on the slips.
Step Three — share with others in the circle fear and beliefs in the background and throw the given ticket into the fire. Consciously, with the fact that I no longer need such conviction and fear. Without any comment or evaluation of others.
The Last Step — define with the help of others a new belief replacing the original, negative one.
This is the kind of exercise we did during our recent Quaternary Retrospectives. Thanks to the safe environment we have with each other at RainFellows, we leave the retrospective as a team a little stronger again. We will definitely repeat the exercise again in the future.
How do you deal with your fears? Do you have any rituals in the team as well?