From our kitchen
With us, we started with the question: “What has the Corona brought us good? What new things do we want to keep?” Of course, children react spontaneously:
“I don't have to get up for school!”
“Dad is always at home with us and doesn't travel away!”
“We want mommy's homemade pizza every day!”
“Hockey with Daddy!”
Among other things, with this question we lead children to the attitude that the circumstances are not negative or positive, but it depends how we react to them. And in that we have freedom and control.
When we took apart, for example, getting up to school, the children revealed their feelings to us: “We feel like ants — that we have to listen to you! You can do anything, we have to get up and go to school and clean up all the time!”
After clarifying that it was not us (yes, it surprised them) and that it was our responsibility (surprise for the second time) to keep the children in school, the reaction came: “So at least don't yell at us — do it! Do it!”
We kept dissecting the feeling of “We can't do anything we want, just listen to you.” We asked the children to describe what happened on that day, what they did: “We played on the tablet, then in the bedroom, we did stupid things with you, yeah, and we were on an expedition in the woods!”
Then we asked the children to select from it the things they did of their own volition, or what they enjoyed. After a moment of hesitation, they exclaim: “Well, everything! Aha, thanks!”
The air cleared. It wasn't the authority of a parent who said “You're ungrateful stinks, you don't do anything!” But at that moment they themselves understood the power of their emotions, which, however, comes from the conviction “I just have to listen” not from reality. At least for the rest of the day, the children are like swapped.
How we proceed
- Let the children write or draw (to make it more fun) on the leaflet what they have enjoyed lately and would like to keep further or experience more. After a while we share (yes, they remember what the pictures mean 😉
- What do I want to thank someone in the family for? Again, the ticket and the sharing wheel.
- What do I not like and want differently? Again — leaflet and discussion of what we can do about it jointly do.
In conclusion
As parents, we feel that the rules are self-evident and that we have already explained this to our children. Or we don't even have to explain it to them, it's just the way the world is. In this case, however, it is possible that our child is building an attitude of little sacrifice.
Our goal is to raise children with the attitude that their attitude matters most and always influences them.